It’s a Friday night a girl thinks she will, be spending the evening with her boyfriend someone who she loved and trusted, in fact by loving anyone isn’t that an automatic by product of trusting someone. We give our hearts ourselves to one person and pray like mad they look after such a precious gift. She waits at the restaurant wondering as girls do if they are dressed cute enough etc. Her boyfriend arrives. 20 mins later both their entire lives have changed in a blink of an eye oddly perhaps by things beyond their control. Her boyfriend 6 weeks previously had been contacted by a women someone who by any stretch of imagination has low morals and poor judgment, she informed him he may have a 2 year old daughter. Two years she took to decide who the father was, 2 years to decide if this child’s potential father should be involved perhaps two years to even weed out who knows how many other fathers. I ‘m really unsure why anyone women feel the need to play god in these circumstances, her motives driven by her own selfishness. Another man had left her after no doubt realizing the child wasn’t his maybe she ran out of other men and this man is her last choice and resort and so here she was reappearing asking for paternity test which we all know really just equates to asking for money. This is a true story with sadly no happy endings for anyone involved. A man has a child he doesn’t want is caught up with a girl who clearly doesn’t love or care for him, a girlfriend walks away heart broken, other children are effected x wife’s further hurt. All because in a blink of an eye one humans motives purely for personal gain throw a curve ball with endless on going ripples into another persons life. Should the man have used protection of course should any man trust ANY women when they say they are on birth control of course not, but ultimately the curve ball flies hitting all squarely in between the eyes.
A 35 year old financial broker sits in a hotel bar with someone he met online 25 mins before they meet, he had seen her on a dating app and saw they were in close proximity. A chance encounter maybe predestined, maybe total happenstance, he shares his life story over a few drinks. He too had just been thrown a huge curve ball, a massive financial loss that was going to close his company and make him have to reassess his life and his career.This situation again caused by one unscrupulous scam artist, throwing curve balls at innocent decent people.It baffles my mind how one deceitful person can with one action effect so many people around them, I don’t know how these people sleep at night clearly they have zero conscience. So he to is left embarking on the unknown, a venture into the internet start up field, not dissimilar to my journey. Totally starting over again. Taking something unforeseen, something negative and trying to turn it into something positive…. the proverbial lemons into lemonade theory. I love this kind of person someone who even in the darkest of hours can keep their wits about them and make great life decisions. I am reminded of my favorite poem “if” by Rudyard Kipling “And lose, and start again at your beginnings, And never breathe a word about your loss, If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew, To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them, “Hold On!”. This trait I love in people I am so fortunate to hear these amazing stories of starting over and new beginnings on DreamsRecycled.com. They inspire me and touch me in ways I can’t begin to explain in blog form.
A man, a brilliant , sweet, witty blue eyed Texan sits in an apartment eating dinner alone. He hasn’t lived in an apartment for over a decade, recently divorced he never foresaw how life can change so radically. He’s now the only parent alone with his children on his parenting time, no back up mom, no safety net, free to come and go as he pleases. He has chosen because it is a “choice” to focus on the positives of his new life ahead, ever part of it even horrible dates he says he enjoys. Bless him maybe he should go on some of mine that would change his mind, lol! Divorce to me is the ultimate curve ball I don’t really think people ever get married with a kind of nonchalant attitude to it they realize marriage isn’t like returning a shirt that did’t fit quite right to the store the next day. We all stay try make things work we do, we understand the effect it has on ourselves our children our lives. I spoke to the Texan today about taking time, time to regroup time to really look deeply into our selves to see what makes us happy, see what makes us smile. It’s a hard thing to do it’s an active not passive reassessment of ourselves. As divorcees we all have our own learning curve some people try to get over people by” getting under “as many new people as they can. Some retreat into them selves not trusting anyone near their hearts body’s or souls for quite some time. I’m not sure if there is one game plan that works for everyone in recycling their dreams. I guess it comes under the category we all need to work on proactively doing something to get to that place. Whether finding new love, starting a new business finding a way just to be happy etc. Some people though don’t they literally give up, like the man in the first story he gave up on being happy in himself, he let other people around him decide his fate. Maybe he’s too weak or has too low self esteem to understand everyone of us deserves happiness. We all do. I have very high hopes for our Texan though I think he has the perfect game plan, enjoy all that comes your way take it slow, explore your options and when you are ready seize the true happiness that no doubt is waiting for him somewhere. I also have equally high hopes for our financial guy I have no doubt his new business will shine brightly for him.
I guess what I am saying is life is full of curve balls, illnesses, divorce, unwanted children, pregnancy’s, career changes, financial losses….not any of these we truly have infinite control over. Such a cliche but it is very true that we can’t help what occurs in our life but we can control how we handle these situations.I hope that as I raise my children I install in them resilience, a sense of survival that they can over come any of life’s unexpected moments. I pray they relish in all life’s unexpected joys and when faced with the unthinkable they have good decision making skills that they don’t necessarily do the “right ” thing but they do the thing that ultimately will make them happy. I have noticed that even in some very successful educated people they seem to make a row of one bad choice after another, to those people I think it’s not to late, take time to make choices, examine the facts, admit when you are wrong and a happy life can be reclaimed. Life is about love and about happiness we all deserve this, being masters of our own destiny and happiness is perhaps the greatest gift we have in this life. So use it wisely, make logical smart choices, pay attention to people look for their true colors, look into your heart, follow your passion and always no matter what you do DREAM BIG!