Free 20-Point Checklist for Narcissist Abuse


1. **Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance**: Does your partner constantly boast about their achievements and demand admiration from others?

2. **Lack of Empathy**: Do they show little concern for your feelings or fail to empathize with your experiences?

3. **Manipulative Behavior**: Are they frequently manipulating situations or people to serve their own interests?

4. **Sense of Entitlement**: Do they believe they are entitled to special treatment or privileges without regard for others’ needs?

5. **Intense Jealousy and Possessiveness**: Are they excessively jealous or controlling of your interactions with others?

6. **Emotional Detachment**: Do they struggle to connect emotionally or seem indifferent to your emotions?

7. **Constant Need for Attention**: Do they require constant attention and validation, becoming upset when they don’t receive it?

8. **Idealization and Devaluation**: Do they alternate between praising you excessively and devaluing or criticizing you?

9. **Boundary Violations**: Do they disrespect your boundaries or invade your privacy without remorse?

10. **Projection**: Do they accuse you of behaviors or motives that are actually characteristic of themselves?

11. **Mood Swings**: Are they unpredictable in their moods or behavior, causing emotional instability in the relationship?

12. **Isolation Tactics**: Do they isolate you from friends or family, making you dependent on them for support?

13. **Financial Control**: Do they control the finances in the relationship, using money as a means of manipulation?

14. **Verbal Abuse**: Do they engage in belittling, demeaning, or verbally abusive behavior towards you?

15. **Threats and Intimidation**: Do they use threats or intimidation to maintain control over you?

16. **Triangulation**: Do they involve third parties or create love triangles to manipulate or destabilize the relationship?

17. **Charm Offensive**: Did they charm and seduce you initially, only to reveal their true manipulative nature later?

18. **Unreasonable Demands**: Do they have unrealistic expectations of you, demanding perfection or constant attention?

19. **Lack of Accountability**: Do they refuse to take responsibility for their actions, blaming others instead?

20. **Cycle of Abuse**: Does the relationship follow a pattern of idealization, devaluation, and discard, perpetuating a cycle of emotional harm?

Disclaimer:This checklist is not intended as an official diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder or any other mental health condition. It serves as a tool for awareness and self-reflection in dating or relationship contexts.

If you recognize several of these behaviors in your relationship and feel that you may be experiencing narcissistic abuse, it’s essential to seek help from a qualified therapist or coach who can provide support and guidance in navigating the situation safely. Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy, respectful relationship where your needs are valued and respected.

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