Uncertainty…how to cope with life’s!

Life by the very nature of it is an uncertain journey, we really never truly know what will happen to us from one day to the next. We have all heard people say my life changed in blink of an eye, sometimes in devastating ways such as death, disease, accidents, job loss, divorce. It can also sometimes be in amazingly positive ways, miracles, births, dreams coming true, lotto wins etc. Some how our brains seem to be able to keep these extreme turns of fortune in check we understand these things but we some how as humans mostly push the negative thoughts to the back of our heads, as we optimistically dream of amazing unexpected things that just may happen to us.

Where life gets trickier is dealing with uncertainty of the situations or decisions we make, often our brains just can’t cope with the waiting to see. We want instant everything. We instantly want to know biopsy results from medical tests, we instantly want to know if the stocks we bought will do well, we want to know if the man or women we have chosen in our life are right for us and whether they will stick around or are worth sticking around for. These kind of uncertainties cause us as humans mass stress and sleepless nights. Let us talk about relationships first, relationships are always full of uncertainty, questions thoughts and confusion at times. Haven’t we all been in a place where we have lived with the uncertainty of knowing if some one truly loves us, or the uncertainty of thinking do they love us but is it even for the right reasons. I hear often people say I’m not sure if my spouse, lover has cheated or is cheating I just want to know I can’t live with the uncertainty of not knowing. We are often our own worse enemies with these mind sets, do we really want to know , how would that effect us if we knew? Maybe knowing isn’t always the best step. I think the most important thing to remember in relationships is that usually if we think really hard and listen to our sixth sense, we actually know all the answers we need to know. If we have been in a relationship where some one continuously displays the same behaviors, cheating, lying, anger or instability we know that chances are this will continue, if you have a feeling that some one is only with you for your money or other unhealthy reason chances are your gut feeling is correct. That’s really as certain as you can be, we all need to listen more to that little voice that guides us, that’s says I’m not happy, that says this partner isn’t right for me, this relationship has negative or toxic areas to it, and if we did listen wouldn’t we have so much less heartache. A miserable 7 year relationship could have been ended in the first 6 months if we had noticed the red flags the universe gave us and actually left when given the chance. A 15 year marriage would never have happened if someone had listened to instinct that this person may be mentally ill. We need to give our self more credit, accept that we can’t 100% for certain know what’s really going on most of the time, but we can look at behaviors, partners, personality types and make really great educated guesses at what is the right thing to do to make ourselves happy.

Now let us look at the positive side of uncertainty in relationships, let’s just label the entire human race as imperfect, there is no one perfect person for you me or anyone, but what there is are different personalities that together can make each other unbelievably happy as a couple. The same listening to your instinct works in positive way also, if you see someone show kindness again and again chances are they are kind, if you see someone seems to genuinely care about you and your well being for all the right reasons, support you, be there for you, speak to you in a kind positive manner chances are this is how these people are and will continue to be. We all want to know before we commit to anyone that this will probably work out, but like everything in life their our no guarantees you can only do the best you can based on the facts and feelings you have towards someone. If you do find someone who you believe could be the one to make you happy, to hold you tightly at night, kiss you sweetly in the morning and ask you how your day was while knowing their love for you is true and would weather any storm, then I highly suggest you hang on to this people. They are a rare and beautiful gift in life. The only certainty you actually have in these relationships is time, I read a beautiful quote one day that said “I knew she was the one, but after 50 years of marriage she proved she was the one”. Guess time always tells you everything you need to know, people who stick around in sickness and in health, who stay faithful and loyal and loving only time really truly proves this with all certainty.

Life event uncertainty is another thing we struggle with, whether waiting for medical tests, or waiting to hear if we are being laid off or promoted or anything we really have no control over often send us into a stressful tail spin. These events are very difficult and can have horrible or brilliant outcomes. We need to understand that at these potentially life changing moments we really have no control, so we can pray, we can think positively, we can hatch a plan B in our head to feel like we really have a back up plan, but at the end of the day you have to breathe deeply, live freely and hope always for the best, that’s all we can do. I personally like to keep things in perspective on a much grander scale, if you wake up with a roof, food, clothing and love in your life you better off than 87% of the rest of the world. If you find out you have bad tests results and you have access to health care and medicine you are much luckier than the people who today didn’t wake up at all or the billion with no health care world wide. Perspective is a good positive way to cope with these uncertainty’s.

At the end of the day life truly has very few certainties, people change, people grow, people fall in and out of love, life unfolds in a way that we very often can’t foresee. Embrace the positive people around you, never give up on finding true love, never give up on following your dreams and when life shows you uncertainties handle them as best you can and keep always moving forward, dreaming big and realizing life sometimes gives you the very best opportunities at the worst moments so find a way to not screw those chances up in the process of playing this game we call LIFE! Sadly sometimes you wont get to spin the wheel again.

Tiffany Beverlin

DreamsRecycled.com

tiffany@dreamsrecycled.com

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