You’ve heard the horror stories. You’ve probably even had a few of your own to tell and while they may be entertaining to your friends, it would be nice to have a good story for a change. You know – the kind that doesn’t involve cackling, an entire tub of ice cream, or jokes at your expense for weeks to come.
How can it be that there are so many people making these mistakes? Well here’s the thing. This isn’t an isolated group of people who do foolish things on their dates. It’s all of us. We all have off-days. We are human, after all. If stupid things didn’t come out of our mouths from time to time, what would we be? But dating is like anything else in life. When you prepare yourself and practice those good habits, you’ll find success.
Here for your amusement and support are my Top 9 Dating Don’ts so you never end up on someone else’s bad date list.
1) DON’T BE LATE. This is an easy one, but can make a huge difference in getting the date started on the right foot. Life and traffic happen, but arriving late can send your date the message that you don’t value their time or you don’t take the date seriously. Plan on arriving early, but don’t make it a topic of conversation. You’ve got better things to discuss!
2) DON’T INTERVIEW. Remember, you’re not at work and this isn’t a job interview. This is a two-way street. The best dates have flowing conversation where both people get to learn about each other. If you’re doing all the asking, chances are you aren’t doing any sharing. On the flip side, if you tend to be quieter at first, plan ahead! Think of topics to bring up or questions to ask to show your date you want to get to know them. At the end of the date you should both leave feeling you got to know the person sitting across from you.
3) DON’T GIVE IT ALL AWAY. I mean this in every possible way. The purpose of a first date is to determine if you would like to see this person again. The end. It’s not to figure out if you will get married, if they’re grossed out by that odd rash you have, or if they’ll take your side in that ongoing feud with your sister. Keep your conversation light, fun, and leave something to the imagination. If that goes well, in time you will be able to share these intimate details but bringing this baggage out on a first date is a surefire way to scare your date away. Just enjoy the natural progression of getting to know someone and take it one step at a time.
4) DON’T FORGET TO SMILE. This is another one of those easy ones that can sometimes get lost in the butterflies and sweaty palms. If you’re having a good time, smile! A smile is the most common trait both men and women find attractive. This can also work wonders in getting you a date (read: remember to flirt)!
5) DON’T FORGET TO DRESS TO IMPRESS. Presenting yourself well says you love yourself and you take your date seriously. Plus, it never hurts to look at an attractive person sitting across from you. Give your date the opportunity to see your best.
6) DON’T NAME DROP. Anyone you are out with should be interested in you for you, not for who you know. Name-dropping does two things. First, it just comes across really cheesy and says you think you are more important just because you know the First Lady’s hairdresser or have seen George Clooney’s house. Second, you are trying to attract a person with things that have nothing to do with you. I’ll share a secret. I’ve worked with a lot of highly successful people and the ones that are the most successful/kind/down to earth/etc. don’t have to tell people about it. Your best traits will show themselves. Just focus on the person sitting across from you and you will do just fine.
7) DON’T FORGET YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. A little laughter can go a long way, especially in a process that can be pretty awkward at times. It’s okay to laugh at yourself too. This is again, one of the top most desired traits in a partner so enjoy yourself!
8) DON’T JUDGE YOUR DATE. If they do something a little foolish, give them a second chance. We all know how difficult first dates can be. In some ways, it’s even worse when you feel a connection to the person sitting across from you because somehow, the really dumb things tend to find their way out of your mouth. If things are going well otherwise, give your date a pass if they fumble a bit. It shows you have grace and compassion, which just so happen to be two other very attractive traits in a mate.
9) DON’T BE NEGATIVE. Negativity is one of the biggest turn-offs. We all get stressed and we all have our bad days. That doesn’t mean it makes a good first impression. Approach each date as what it is: a new, fresh opportunity to get to know someone and see what might happen. Not only will you be happier, but people are more attracted to happy, positive people so you’ll find your dating dreams coming true much more easily! It’s a win-win-win!
If you follow these simple don’ts you will be on the path to dating success. It’s easy to make a mistake and that’s okay. A little confidence and a sense of humor can get you through anything. Laugh at yourself, remember to smile, and enjoy the process.
.png)
