Stop, Break, Reach Out: Learning to Ask for Help

One of the biggest lessons I’m learning is that if you want something you need to reach for it. And sometimes that something is help. Fear can be a cumbersome roommate, and we need to realign ourselves with our loving center to make decisions in our lives. But, doing that alone can seem impossible and mighty daunting.

True power is found in moments where you can deeply recognize that you need help and then are able to muster up the courage to reach out for help. Recognize when you are down. And instead of allowing yourself to continue to run in circles decide to stop, break and reach out.

Stop your thoughts. Stop the mind’s chatter. You are going no where by listening to the endless banter of fear-based thoughts volley between your ears. Unless the voice of love is involved, you will often run yourself into the ground attempting to make sense of each story. Stop your thoughts. Gangaji, a spiritual teacher, posed the question, if you have no problem ending a conversation with someone in person, why should you have any problem ending the conversation in your head?

Break. Take a deep breath. Spend a moment with yourself, and see if you can come to your own understanding. That’s always where you need to go first, and where you’ll always eventually end up. Give yourself time enough to be the support that you need. But, if you find that what you are trying is not serving you in the way that you would like, then comes our next step…

Reach out. Reach out to a friend, family member, associate, stranger – someone who will here your question and a bit of your story. There’s no need to encumber your mate with your burden, but simply provide enough back story for the person to appropriately respond and then ask, very straightforwardly, “I’m seeking guidance on this matter. Do you have any support or wisdom that may be of help or able to shine light on my understanding?” (Please choose any variation on this form.)

You don’t need the answer to all your prayers. All you need is a little bit of guidance, direction, perspective, light, illumination, a crumb in the right direction. You never know what you’ll get. You might not even get what you expected. You may get nothing at all. But it’s worth the effort to seek support in shifting your perspective, because that’s ultimately what it’s all about – a matter of shifting perspective into love-based sight to gain the clarity and understanding necessary to make your decision.

True answers don’t lie in the palms, hearts or words of another. True answers are within our own hearts. And when we are willing to lay down the voice in our heads and open to our hearts, we allow ourselves to receive what has always been there.

I’ve been running in circles in the past week, trying to decide whether I want to move in with my boyfriend. On the initial conversation, I was more than thrilled about the idea. I even had several interactions that lead me to speak and share this new adventure and decision with my family and friends from my heart space – a space I’m growing increasingly comfortable with speaking from.

Yet, as the time has drawn nearer, doubts, fears and worries have entered my mind and taken a strong hold over me. I’ve gone back and forth, unable to truly settle into an open, receptive space to hear from my heart. I’ve been so stuck in the perspective of my fear that I haven’t been able to step out and see what’s been truly going on. Finally, I decided to reach out for help; an outside perspective.

I asked a friend of mine who had recently made the transition herself. Hearing her perspective, while she didn’t hold the key to my dilemma, provided just the right amount of differentiation that allowed me to step outside of my own self and reevaluate my thoughts.

From this fresh perspective, I was able to see where I’d given into many fear-based thoughts Thoughts that simply are not supportive. Once this space was created, I was able to leave behind the fears and pick up the positive present-moment perspective.

No matter what form it takes, take a moment when you’re down and ask for help. Being in fear, worry, or anxiety doesn’t have to be your norm. In fact, you can make happiness, joy, or peace your everyday reality. It’s your choice.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Allow other people the opportunity to provide you with assistance. Some people love to be of service in this manner.

Sometimes even reading a book or watching an inspirational video will allow you to step back into a more open and expansive perspective, which is exactly what is needed when making important decisions. Step back from your fear-based thoughts and allow love to flow. Then reevaluate the situation. Then make your decision.


Paula Jones

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