Sound The Alarm

The VIBE: Don’t make problems for the sake of solving them.

John: I just read a beautiful essay titled “On Needing To Find Something To Worry About.” Funny how these things come to you when you most need them. I was thinking about this concept recently. Things were, I guess too, perfect. Or you can say quiet. My marriage with Kel was going great, no fighting. Work had been more than manageable, and things were getting accomplished. I was crushing all of my workouts and making progress with my pushups and finding time to enjoy the things that I loved the most. I actually thought, “hmm, this is too perfect. I need to stir something up to overcome a challenge again to prove that I can do it. Where is the pain that I love so much?”

This is ludicrous, but it’s true. In reading this, it is easy to understand why. As the author notes, “before our adult faculties were adequately in place, we suffered a traumatic set of events that jammed our inner alarms into their ‘on’ modes and we haven’t been able to quietn them, or soothe ourselves, since.” So, something within is causing me to sound the alarm and try to make something happen to stir up an old trauma. Well, I’m not going to do it – at least today. The wolf of worry is always scratching at the door. As I have been for the last year, I am going to let him scratch and when he barges down the door, I will hug his neck and say thanks for choosing to sit with me in the dark. Stay as long as you like. I am glad someone is here for me.” Accept the feeling of dread now, for a better sense of tomorrow later.

Nicole: I just experienced this yesterday. My son went to bed at 7PM last night and he didn’t get up until 8:45AM! When my husband’s alarm went off at 6:30AM I went into panic mode, because I thought I didn’t hear my son get up. I looked at the baby monitor and he was still sleeping. I turned the volume up and was zooming in. He appeared to be sleeping and breathing. I went into his room to make sure. I put my hand on his back and I could feel him breathing. I went back to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I thought to myself, he must be sick. Something’s just not right. When my son got up, I ran into his room and looked him over to make sure he was okay. He was full of smiles and jumping up and down in his crib. I was the one who was sick to my stomach, not him. I couldn’t accept the fact that he slept in (for the first time). I couldn’t enjoy the once in a blue moon moment, I get to sleep in and get some rest, or have a cup of coffee and finish it in peace while it is still hot. I had to create a fictitious story in my head to worry about something. It was too good to be true. I always dream and wish of times where I can sleep in, in the morning and then when it happens, Boom! I think worst case scenarios. As a parent, I don’t know if the worrisome feeling will ever go away, but I know that I can admit that it’s not easy, to just sit back and relax and accept it.


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