I receive a lot of messages from individuals who are embarking on divorce or are recently divorced. One of the topics I hear often is how their ex partners or spouses act during or after their divorce. The litany of despicable things vary from, embezzling money, with holding access to children, concocting entirely false accusations of cheating, lying addiction or mental illness. Basically there seems to be no level of low and moral less behaviors people won’t sink too, when fighting begins, or when someone is caught out as liar or cheat.
I think often people don’t understand what a high cost in the long term their low life behavior will have to everyone involved.
- If you cheat, ultimately you probably will get caught so when you do deal with it in a honorable manner, don’t lie further, don’t throw the “other person” under the bus and allow girls to go after girls or men to go after men, you are the guilty one you were married while cheating. Most states are no fault states so attempt to heal instead of further harm.
- Don’t use children as pawns, children grow up eventually and it becomes very apparent who was with holding them from one parent or another. If you are lucky enough to have two functioning decent parents then make sure both parents get access to children and they are never used as a bartering chip or financial tool. They are children love them and leave them out of all low life behaviors or they may grow up not thinking very highly of you or wanting to spend time with you.
- Don’t embezzle money, hide assets or withhold money that rightfully belongs to your spouse, whatever may have happened during the divorce you still pent a long time with this other person in your life and they deserve morally and by law whatever they are entitled too financially. If you with hold this money, you are causing further damage to your relationship and chances are everything here after will be more tumultuous your are also directly affect the way you children live, the car they are driven around in and the food they eat by not financially giving your ex-spouse the funds owed. This too you children will realize and eventually hold against you.
- Maybe the hardest one is when people are so low they literally just make things up, I have had this happen to me, people saying ludicrous things with no legal validity, it’s very tempting to either expose these liars for the people of no character they actually are, or sink to their level and react like they do in an unreasonable way. Here is where as the victim of gross allegations or unfairness my advice is to rise above, to remain calm, and focus on defending yourself in a positive manner. I also feel if the allegations are so unfounded or wild, say they are and disregard because by focusing on other people’s nonsense and ridiculousness you somehow give it validity by even defending yourself or trying to.
Never underestimate the depth humans will go to when emotions and feelings are hurt, we may have no say in what people do or how low they can go, but we do have a say in what we do, how we react and whether we seek revenge or turn the other cheek. I am a firm believer in Karma, I will let people do almost anything they want, say anything because I understand the type of human who does this has no character, or strength and is basically a coward, so I tend to watch wait sit back and be happy just knowing how much better it is to watch the low life’s whipping themselves into a frenzy of lies and tangled webs while I watch from above the fray. Of course this route isn’t easy but I encourage you to try, before sinking to these peoples level.
Tiffany Beverlin
CEO
Tiffany@dreamsrecycled.com
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