The VIBE: Boomerangs are important. Treat them as such.
John: Nicole, I don’t know if this happens to you, but have you ever had someone boomerang back into your life that you never would have thought would come back into your life again? It happened to me the other day. I had a phone conversation with someone who I hadn’t really talked to in at least two years. It was one of those things where, when I moved from Cleveland, we didn’t stay in touch. They recently underwent a job update and so did I so we reconnected. I was very grateful for the opportunity to reconnect and chat a bit, and it got me thinking about why we got unglued in the first place. I was so grateful to talk to them. I remembered why I cared about them in the first place. You never forget the best people and they were definitely one of the best.
It’s funny – you think that someone would stay in your life forever, and then when they leave you step back and you go, now how did that person ever get out my life in the first place? That to me is a strong sign of professional and personal growth, self-awareness and introspection. At least on my part. Seems that this person was exactly the way that I remembered them, and I am so grateful for it.
It made me realize that time passing is normal, and those you will reconnect with, it will happen when the time is right. Now I step back even farther, and I go, “Man my inner circle is really tight. Man, I am really grateful for the people that are in my life now on a day to day basis.” I am so careful about who I let in. I am much choosier than who I used to be. Maybe it also is a reflection of who I am now and what I want versus what I don’t want. Call it breaking through limiting beliefs, but all I know is my life is in a happier place, and I could not, would not change a thing. People that I love are always welcome, anytime.
How do you handle boomerangs? Do you catch them, or do you duck?
Nicole: My parents were married for 25 years until they decided to get a divorce. I’ll never forget it and here’s why. They were divorced for 10 years and then they decided to start dating again #boomerang. I couldn’t wrap my head around this one. They dated for a few months and then they were quickly reminded why they got a divorce in the first place.
I think boomerangs are situation dependent. Don’t you? You have to weigh out the pros and the cons. You have to think about why they left your inner circle and are they worth coming back? Are they coming back in to teach you a lesson? Maybe this person needs you more than you need them? Then what do you do? I think it’s a rare occurrence to let people back into our inner circle. I am a firm believer that some people need to be put in a “time out.” Sometimes we can only love someone from a distance and that’s okay. In the example of my parents reconnecting, I was surprised they accepted the boomerang. I thought they had learned their lesson, but it took one more time to learn it.
Are all boomerangs bad?
Perspectives are invited and appreciated 😊