“I’m glad I got caught, now I can move on”…. Those were the words I heard 6 years ago when I learned my husband of nearly 20 years was having an affair and my marriage was about to end. Perhaps those of you reading this have a similar story. Life as you knew it would never be the same. I remember thinking my world had ended. I was scared, and felt hopeless at the time. As a stay at home mom, I wondered how I would support my children and myself. I was at the lowest point in my life, deep in a Valley.
I absolutely love the outdoors and recently started hiking Stone Mountain again several times a week. As I was hiking the other day I started to draw an analogy to my journey of healing a broken heart after divorce that I hope will inspire you.
The bottom of Stone Mountain reminded me of the way I felt after my separation and divorce, hopeless. It’s pretty barren, lots of rocks and immediately starts to incline. For the first 2 -3 months after my separation I was a hot mess. If I got out of bed that was a good day, if I took a shower that was a great day! My separation was right slap in the middle of Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Thank goodness for friends and family who took care of my children and me during that time. Just like the hike up Stone Mountain though I knew I had to start with making small steps to what felt like an uphill battle.
The first step I took to healing was to accept the situation for what it was. It wasn’t going to change, my marriage wasn’t going to be repaired and I had to accept that. Once I did that, I made up my mind to improve myself and signed up for classes at a local technical school. After all, if I had to start a first time career at 40 something, it better be a good one! I took the first of several small steps.
As I began to walk further up Stone Mountain, trees surrounded me. At this point I couldn’t see the top of the mountain at all and the incline was steeper. When you are surrounded by nothing but trees you can focus on yourself with no distractions so that’s what I began to do. I fell in love with Holly and who she was. I believe you can’t love others until you love yourself. I also started to flood my mind with positive thoughts. I put doubts of whether I could make it to the top aside. Perhaps you have doubts as well, but don’t stop!
As the trees surrounding me disappeared I could see the top again. But boy the last part of Stone Mountain is the steepest and hardest to climb, just like my journey to healing. In order to completely heal I needed to forgive. Forgiveness is not for the other person it’s for you. It’s the hardest thing you will ever do, but the most powerful. When you forgive the person who hurt you they no longer have power over you. Forgiveness releases you from the bondage of bitterness so you can live in JOY.
Finally I made it to the top of Stone Mountain and the view was amazing. I could see where I started the climb and how far I had come. In my journey to healing, I dared to dream I could make it to the top and I did! The pain that was so real at the time of my divorce has been replaced with Joy. In 2014 I achieved my dream of becoming a Nurse and now I give back to others, another important step to healing.
If you are reading this I hope I have inspired you to reach the mountain top and you will join me in this journey we call life! “Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain but all the happiness and growth occurs while climbing it “~Andy Rooney
Holly Hima, BSN, RN
Hollyhima@gmail.com
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