Divorce is difficult, this is something that no one’s going to deny. The process of ending a marriage brings a plethora of negative emotions like anxiety, dread and regret; it’s a significant change, a huge step and, as such, it’s bound to be frightening. If you currently find yourself in this position, though, I have some good news!
For more than a decade, I’ve worked for Quickie Divorce, a company that are based in the UK and that have, in my time here, helped more than 100,000 people through the divorce process. If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt over the past decade it’s that divorce is a cathartic process and, whilst it is exceptionally difficult at times, it’s also rarely something that people come to regret.
Indeed, I can count the number of clients that have regretted their divorces on just one hand. Whilst the vast majority of people I’ve spoken to have spent years deciding whether they should or shouldn’t divorce their spouses, those that come to regret their decision differ for one very distinct reason: they didn’t give their decision the time it needed. They, to paraphrase a common saying, divorced in haste and repented in leisure. But, as I’ve said, this is rare. Indeed, most people are so concerned with the possibility of making a mistake that they procrastinate for lengthy periods of time before biting the bullet and going ahead. The most common concerns being familial and financial.
Again, though, there’s no reason to worry. Those that are worried about their financial security have nearly always been living separately from their spouses for so long that they’re already financially independent. Those that weren’t found that they adapted; they made changes to their lifestyles, found new jobs, audited their incomes and outgoings. Put it simply, they found a way to make it work.
Those that had been worried about altering their family’s dynamics and that they were setting a bad example for their children soon realise that the worst thing they could do for their children was to remain in a marriage that was no longer functional. After all, all we truly want as parents is for our children to be happy and, by remaining, you’d be encouraging the opposite. The best way to teach children to be happy is simply to be happy yourself and, if you were, you wouldn’t have separated let alone considered a divorce.
Concerns regarding children are so unfounded, in fact, that I’ve been informed by numerous clients that they and their former spouses have become better parents following their divorce. They feel freer, more able to work as a team and co-parent effectively than they ever did when they were still married to one another. If you find this surprising, think for a moment of how you act when you’re stressed and compare it to how you behave when you feel calm. Now, ask yourself which mood do you think would result in better parenting? That’s what we thought.
Trust me, provided you’ve really thought about whether or not you should try and save your marriage and have genuinely concluded that you shouldn’t, you won’t regret your decision.
Jay Williams
Quickie Divorce as an account manager for more than a decade. In his spare time, he enjoys reading, gaming and trying to convince his wife that their two-year-old daughter needs a Nintendo Switch.
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