Someone recently said to me, they were for the first time “content” after finding a new girlfriend, it actually on first hearing it, seemed a benign comment, that nothing was wrong in their relationship, but over the last few weeks I have been deeply thinking about this. Is it better to be happy or to be content, what’s the difference in life, love or marriage? Why had this person made a point of differentiating happiness they felt to contentment?
At first go around it seems like you should actually want to be happy over content, happy implies, laughing, smiling, fun, not sad, not anything wrong just happy. Content implies calm inner peace. The more I thought about it though the more I started to realize that happy is more just something inside of you, it’s a personality trait you choose to be happy.You find joy in life where you are, with who you are with or married to, it is mostly internal, nothing is bad so we say act happy that’s what we do.
What happens though when we are happy but not content is interesting, not being content makes you restless, it makes you go through life with one eye open, searching looking for something or someone to fill the hole in you of non contentment. This I think happens when your happiness is internal and based on your own self. Contentment comes when you find someone who is your other half, your mirror, your safe place, where you can be loved, unconditionally for the person you really are.
You don’t have to be anyone but yourself, after all wouldn’t it be virtually impossible to be “content ” inner peacefully calm, if you are actually only being a part of who you are with your spouse at any given time. Isn’t there an inner exhaustion, deep discontent when you have to be someone, act with someone who you really actually aren’t.Even if its a very small part of you over time like any issue it grows, festers.
According to a trusted Greensboro divorce lawyer “so many marriages fail because people marry or settle for the first person who comes along”. They don’t wait for the ultimate person who would make them content, peaceful, make them stop being someone they aren’t, someone who loves accepts you for you and is your soul mate. Someone who brings you happiness and joy in a much more internal way. How many times have we been with someone who says I love you and you say it back, later on you realize not only did you not love them, but they couldn’t possibly have loved you they didn’t even know you or the real you they only where or thought they were in love with the fake you, who actually is just a facade or what they want us to be or what society wants us to be. The goal should always be to find someone who actually makes you stop searching for content, this has to be such a rare relationship to find. Someone who calms your soul and lights you from the inside out, so you don’t need to keep searching for the light because it’s now firmly inside you, as the calm warm feeling contentment brings.
So after the last few weeks, I have decided I don’t want happy, I want to be crazy, madly, passionately, emotionally in love with a huge side of inner contentment, because to live, and love should always be about following your passion, and to keep searching for your ultimate match. Happy will come and go, but an inner peace you find with being with your soul mate or true love will remain for ever in times of happiness or sadness.No one or nothing will or can rob you of this feeling between two people. So that is what I am searching for and I won’t ever settle for anything less.