Is it possible to be optimistic about divorce and be happy? Absolutely yes! You get to choose your mindset every day and the choice is clear, choose happy! Start by assembling the best team for your personal situation. Divorce can be painful, stressful, complicated, messy and expensive. It is not to be taken lightly or underestimated Using the right divorce professionals can have a significant impact on the journey and help facilitate the best outcome possible. It can be the start of a peaceful, authentic, happy life. A good marriage takes effort, why not work hard to have a good divorce? Often we get stuck on “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t”. I disagree, a successful outcome in divorce can take many forms. You may get divorced and have no contact, you might be divorced and civil. You could be divorced and remain friends. The bottom line is happiness can be yours no matter your specific situation. Chart a new course and release the anchor!
The upside to divorce may not be obvious right away but will show up in time. It is important to be open and aware of the benefits of not being in a marriage that is unhappy. Not having to deal with the tension and stress of your spouse creates the opening to work on your happiness. Think of it as an opportunity to reinvent yourself to become who you want to be. It is helpful to start planning your post divorce life during your divorce process. Financial considerations are important but also think about dreams and hobbies and activities you enjoyed and were put aside during your marriage. You now have a second chance. If you always wanted to go white water rafting or peruse the shops of Paris, go for it! Take a cooking class, visit a new city, go to a fancy restaurant, take the kids to Disney, you get the idea. Creating the vision for your new life is the first step in having it. Feel the freedom you have and explore your power to take care of yourself and embrace the new possibilities that are all around you. Try new activities and stretch out of your comfort zone. There are all kinds of meetup groups, clubs, and travel organizations that specialize in single and divorced people. Start small, try a few new activities, keep the ones that resonate with you and discard the rest. Keep it simple and have fun. This is the recipe for happiness. Now take action and celebrate your results.
This is a message worth sharing. Help me get the word out and let me know what you think. I would love some comments!
Robert M. Bilsker, M.S. CDC
Certified Divorce Coach
www.bilskercoaching.com
bob@bilskercoaching.com
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