I had my first session with a client the other evening. She lives in Australia. A land I strongly desire to visit and explore, meet its people and know its ways. It felt appropriate that my first client would be from Australia.
There’s no doubt that nerves overcame me. It’s the nature of doing something for the first time. It’s the nature of engaging with life in a whole new way. When looked at from an alternative perspective, nerves can be a delightful avenue for experiencing life. Any feeling is a delightful avenue for experiencing life.
We often veer away from anything that creates even the remotest tingle, twinge or sensation in our bodies. We clinch our fists, shoulders, arms, abs, legs, etc. We hold tight. To what, exactly? What is it we are holding so tightly to?
Perhaps we fear the experience of the feeling itself. As though the feeling would mutilate our bodies, destroy our beings and ultimately kill us. When put like that it sounds like crazy talk, right? And that’s exactly what it is. Feeling our feelings isn’t going to harm us. It’s far less harmful than pulling out our ancient tricks of avoidance and stealth weaponry.
We could get into a long discussion about why it is we’ve all of a sudden decided (most assuredly, when we were a child) that we did not want to endure the feelings that arose at some (most assuredly) indomitable moment with parents, peers, or alternative authority figure. We could pick, poke, prod, tear apart, magnify, expand, expound, destroy and annihilate our histories. What is it, exactly, do we think we would find in such an endeavor? A better question: how would this help us to move forward?
While understanding the root of any formidable feeling may seemingly be helpful on a mental/intellectual level, in reality, the only reason we would endeavor for such an end would be to get closer to the feeling we’ve been avoiding. Exploring the why? where? how? from whom? is only necessary if it gets us more in touch with that feeling we pushed aside all those years ago.
Fortunately, it’s also not necessary nor the only way to experience these feelings. The beauty about life is that it continually wants you to grow, expand and be the best version of yourself. It’s the nature of life. It will continue to move forward. In that forward momentum, you are always solicited to reexamine anything and everything that has yet to be dealt with. There’s no moving forward if feelings from our past are still thoroughly attached at any level of our being.
Life graciously honors your forward momentum by bringing you delicious opportunities to full-frontally engage with the rawness of your own being. This is presented in many forms. It can be in speaking your mind on a subject you’ve often been quite on, opening your heart to a stranger, stepping outside your comfort zone and making the phone call, etc. One thing each of these examples have in common: initiation and engagement.
For me, stepping up and engaging with life meant honoring that I have the capacity to support women in opening to receive greater pleasure in their lives. While I can pontificate on this all day long, dreaming of its happening, and living in the thinking of my dream, it wasn’t until I sat down with my client and supported her in opening to life that I fully engaged with my own potential.
And I’ll be honest, it wasn’t a matter of finding someone and sitting down for a chat. This moment was born of multiple moments of stepping up to share my truth from an empowered place. Sometimes I’d get knocked down, remain unacknowledged, or be applauded. It took using that vulnerable muscle for me to build confidence in my own ability. That confidence was fully validated and cemented when I stepped into that conversation with her.
Full-engagement with life means facing any feelings that come up for you without putting on your stealth cloak or wearing your knight’s steel armor. You must shed these illusory makings and open to your experience in its totality. This is how you engage with life on a deeper level. This is how you clear out the feelings of the past without having to hunt down old memories and stories.
When you go for your dreams, life provides you the opportunities to clear out all the old. Life is intelligent. It knows what needs to be complete in order to make room for what you truly desire. Do not spend your days chewing over the past and being anxious about the future. Enter into the present moment. Take the next action step towards your dreams. Face the feelings that come in that moment.
Send your attention to center of your body and hold firm to the trunk of who you are. That stability will give you the courage to feel into each moment – no matter what arises. When you have the courage to thoroughly feel through the feelings of the present moment, then you have the courage to keep moving forward.
Life will bring up all you need to work on. So, there’s no need to believe that there’s something lurking back there that you need to clear out first before you can move forward. Begin to engage with life and see how it shows you exactly what you need to do.
What does full engagement feel like for you? Explore this question with me in the comments below.
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