October 2010 I left with two garbage bags that were full of my clothes and my children’s clothes. I had no job, no money, no friends because my ex husband had isolated me and my family shut me out. I remember sitting in the waiting area with my 3 boys ages 6,5,3 and my oldest asking where we were, my response? an appointment. Little did he know we were at a shelter for domestic violence victims. When we finally got to our assigned room which must have been no bigger than 9 by 10, my oldest confused looks at me and says there’s only 3 beds (bunk bed and a twin) I explained that we would be there for a while and not to worry I wasn’t going anywhere. I waited what seemed like forever for them to finally fall asleep so that I could cry like I had not ever cried in my life before and I had to do it in silence so I wouldn’t wake them. I thought well I survived an abusive relationship, now how am I going to survive this? Raise 3 boys alone with no money, no job and no support? Simple, I had no choice because there was no turning back. The days that came after that were not easy. I met with the social worker which was not much help and just gave me the policies of the shelter and told me I had 6 weeks to get it together and move into my own place. I sat in shock and thought it would be impossible, I have nothing, how will I do this?. I spent the day crying and that night when the boys were asleep, I decided to lean on my faith because I realized that crying only helped to release the pain but it did not resolve any of my issues. I thought to myself I had hit rock bottom and there’s only one way from there and that is up, but I had to do my part. The days that followed I went to the local library to read books on how to create a resume, and how to prepare for an interview all while the boys participated in the children’s story time activities. During this time I befriended the librarian and once I created my resume, I asked for her critique since my 5 and 3 year olds critique was “its pretty mommy”. Those 6 weeks taught me that nothing is impossible as long as you put the work in. I chose to focus on the positives as my motivation to keep moving forward and I was able to find a job and a 2-bedroom apartment for the boys and me. Our first night in our apartment we slept on air mattresses and used the box they came in as our dining table while we sat on the floor and ate pizza. Although it was not the ideal home at the moment because it wasn’t furnished, and we were eating sitting on the floor I decided that we would make the most of it just like we had for the last 6 weeks. We were finally in our own home, we were safe, we were together and this was just the beginning of our journey, the 3 musketeers and their mom. Together we will make it through anything.
I believe happiness is a choice and I chose it in 2010 when I got divorced and became a single mom of 3 boys. On this journey I’ve learn to love myself, to be patient, and found fitness as my outlet to cope with the struggles of single parenting. My growth has helped me heal from an abusive relationship and to find love again which has blessed me with a new baby boy and now blended family.
Best regards,
Natasha Martinez
IG @fourboysandfitness
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