Dear (some) Men,
We are tired of the manipulation, the games, the lies, the false promises and the bait and switches you are capable of doing. The saying one thing doing another, the online dating addicts, the attention seekers and the just plain selfish.
You don’t have a right to pursue us with strings of untruths, lies and false depiction a of what you really want, what your life really is or if you are really single. Life is hard enough to navigate as it is.
If you only want sex, say that’s what you want, we then as grown women have the right to accept or decline based on that expectation. Stop telling us you want relationships, your single, your looking for the one, when really you are emotionally unavailable and are a perpetual player and liar. You know you are there is no “changing” life time of that behavior. If you have been single for 50 years and unable to bond with anyone you aren’t all of a sudden with out serious therapy an will going to change.
Believe it or not there are women who you can find who want, like you do, casual-no strings attached sex. But when you barge into our lives with your sweet talk your endless texts, compliments, talk of our future together we believe this. We don’t belief this because we are stupid we believe it because if we went through life non believing of anyone ever we would be pretty sad cynical souls and we aren’t we want to believe the best in you the best case scenarios of what you can bring to our lives, don’t use our optimistic, loving, open outlooks against us. We get taken in hook line and sinker by you false tongue and charms, because most of us do want that happy ever after. Don’t ignite a fire, a thought, emotions, dreams and worse of all expectations in us with your lies. You know you only want sex, you know that you aren’t capable of a relationship, you know you have a girlfriend somewhere hidden that you won’t leave or you just know that there is something about us that you couldn’t really be with or date long term. You also know that this won’t end well, but you pursue and go through the motions anyway , you are really good at what you do, we don’t even seeing it coming, the sweet words , the kindness, the pretense of happiness, the fake affection. Maybe you book a trip somewhere in the distance future and we are fooled into thinking you aren’t going anywhere that we are great together. Sex is great because it works in your favor we let you into our minds and hearts which you know is the quickest way into our knickers. You have you no connection to us, so you can perform however you want giving the illusion of caring, when you are really just taking us for a test drive, using our bodies as a sex toy.
We don’t deserve that, yes we like sex, but we only like sex on our terms, when everyone is being honest about it. When we get to decide who we give our bodies to and for what reason. You take this from us and you destroy, with each touch, each lie whispered sweetly in our ears, each orgasm a part of us. Our psyche is chipped away at, our trust of others to come. How we feel about our selves, our bodies, our insecurities, you damage by violating our bodies, when you didn’t present us with the correct facts to determine if we wanted to have sex on the bed of untruths you have told to get sex.
It’s not ok, it isn’t. A lot of you have daughters , would you like men to trick them into sex purposely, (because when you know you aren’t going to be with these women, it is conscience what you are doing to them) hurt their feelings, their self esteem by manipulation? There is no excuse for this. Have sex, pursue as many women, as you want but just please do it in an honest manner.
If you don’t want a relationship don’t pretend you do. If you have a wife, girlfriend say you do and follow that with the I’m never leaving her truth. If you start off honest nothing bad comes of this, you don’t hurt innocent women, you don’t get caught on your own web of lies you don’t get chewed out after you dump these women which you will of course, and these women have every single right in the world to go as crazy on you as possible, you deserve that, you took control away and gave them no say in what you were doing. You told them abc knowing full well xyz where actually the truth about you and your wants. As the wonderful Bob Marley said ” the biggest coward of a man is to awaken love in a women without the intention of loving her”. Men you know, don’t pretend you don’t you know within the first few dates if you want to really actually be with us, you don’t need to lie. Nothing good ever comes of it. You also need to realize you are damaging these women for other men. Good men , kind honest men, we start to just presume everyone is deceiving us, we become suspicious and guarded, we doubt our judgment we have been fooled by your charms, and we now think even genuine decent men must be lying, and then we treat them like that. This isn’t fair to these great men who are honest , kind and sincere in our next relationships, you plant to seed of doubt the waiting for the other shoe to drop. Men like you do your fellow good man an injustice, with your behaviors.
Not every relationship works out long term not every one wants a relationship at every time during their life. Whatever you do in life though be honest about it, say what you think, believe and feel from day 1, don’t build these webs they often end up strangling both of you on the exit of that relationship.
The measure of all men is their character, temptation, thrill of the chase and sex are big draws for men but there is an honest non damaging way still to do this. It’s by telling the truth, do it, you may like it. If you know you are perpetual player find a way to only pursue women who aren’t looking for love, they are out there too, but leave the women who are out of your target zone.
Tiffany Beverlin
CEO
tiffany@dreamsrecycled.com
.png)
